Happy Presidents Day! Whether you were lucky enough to have the day off, or had to trudge into work and make that money this morning, your love/sex life pretty much sucks either way if you’re not a Sochi Olympic athlete.
Why? Because Sochi Olympians are apparently hooking up, with help from the dating app Tinder. Don’t stop. Get it. Get it.
@ Flickr/Carmen Rodriguez
American professional snowboarder Jamie Anderson recently told US Magazine that “Tinder in the Olympic Village is next level. It’s all athletes! In the mountain village it’s all athletes. It’s hilarious. There are some cuties on there.”
A bunch of young, hot people with athletic bodies and raging hormones to last for the next two decades? Yes! Somebody, pass me a church fan.
For a schedule of the remainder of the 2014 Sochi Olympics, head here.
Here’s some more TV news you might have missed last week:
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (and The Roots! Do not forget The Roots) officially premieres tonight. Squee!
Orange is the New Black has an official return date for its second season and a teaser trailer to go along with it and all is right the world.
Deception’s (remember that show?) Meagan Good will star in the NBC pilot Babylon Fields, a sci-fi drama about the dead rising in the city of Babylon, N.Y. It has zombies (sort of) and Good so I will watch. Probably.
In other casting news: How I Met Your Mother’s Alyson Hannigan will star as the female lead in the CBS comedy More Time With Family (produced by Hollywood BFFs Ben Affleck and Matt Damon). And Oscar-winning actress Octavia Spencer has landed the starring role in the FOX drama Red Band Society. (In January, NBC scraped the reboot of Murder, She Wrote, in which Spencer was to play the lead amateur sleuth.)
The Simpsons will air an entire episode with the characters in Lego form on May 4. In related news, God exists.
The Office’s John Krasinski and his actress wife Emily Blunt (I seriously did not know they were married—forgive me) had their baby girl, Hazel, on Sunday.
In other and more important baby news (obviously), Nicest Guy On Earth Simon Cowell and his girlfriend Lauren Silverman welcomed their son, Eric, on Friday. Cuteness!
Irony alert: A Kentucky pastor who starred in National Geographic’s (for you hip kids, that’s Nat Geo’s), Snake Salvation—a reality show about Pentecostal preachers who handle snakes as part of their church services, because why not?—died Saturday night after refusing medical treatment following a rattlesnake bite on his hand.
Charlie Sheen got engaged to his porn star girlfriend, Brett Rossi, on Valentine’s Day. Congrats?
Bethenny Frankel’s talk show, Bethenny, has been canceled. (Normally I would throw some shade here, but I’ve never seen the show so unfortunately I’m unable to go there.)
And I’ve started watching House of Cards. You’re welcome, America.