Credit: VH1
While most sensible people watched the premiere of the limited series “24: Live Another Day” on FOX Monday night, I embraced my inner ratchetchess and turned the tube on VH1 for the Season 3 premiere of “Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta.” And it was magically ridiculous.
Here are all of the glorious moments and reactions from last night:
When the opening credits happened and you had no idea who Tammy was and you didn’t know what to do, then realized later on that it’s Waka Flocka Flame’s fiancée and then realizing that Waka is a cast member this season.
When Joseline appeared on screen more muscular than you remembered.
Credit: VH1
When Stevie J and Joseline finally confirmed that they’re legally married, and you couldn’t help but give a ridiculously big side eye.
Credit: VH1
When Joseline kept calling her herself a bad bitch, and you wanted to throw all of your feminism at the TV screen.
When Kirk was … just there.
Via Reaction Gifs
When Mimi popped up on the screen with blonde hair and you weren’t prepared for it—but she still looked nice so you were OK with it.
Credit: VH1
When you couldn’t focus on Tammy and Waka’s first conversation of the season because you kept staring at the acne (?) on Waka’s forehead. Also, because you could barely understand what Waka was saying.
When Scrappy said he was so over his baby mama/ex-fiancée Erica and is now kickin’ it with Bambi (who, by the way, kicked it in a hot tub with Kirk and Benzino last season) and you wanted to cry into a pillow.
When Ariane revealed that she has a new lover—a woman—and you were like, “Yasss!”
Source: Broadway Box
When, in talking about Nikko to Erica and Ariane, Mimi used the term “dickmatized” and you took a mental note to use it in a conversation at a later time. Because ratchetness.
When Rasheeda was serving realness with the orange lipstick and gun earrings at her lunch meeting with Deb and Tammy.
When you realized that the Mimi and Nikko sex tape was definitely staged/leaked on purpose but you didn’t care because shower curtain rod.
When Mimi was crying after finding out that her and Nikko’s sex tape was “stolen” but her mascara and eyeliner stayed perfectly in place. (Seriously, what was she wearing? MAC? Lancôme? Dior? I need to know these things.)
Credit: VH1
When Momma Dee, even in season 3, was still talking kingdoms and castles and palaces and queens and OMG STFU.
Source: Wifflegif
When Momma Dee was talking about eggs in a basket and you were confused. As was Bambi.
Then, talking about Scrappy not being faithful to one woman, when Momma Dee said, “Can you eat just one Lay’s potato chip?” … and you were still confused.
When you squee’d at Baby Karter, but rolled your eyes at Kirk tripping over Rasheeda’s Momma kissing him. Oh, OK.
Credit: VH1
When Kirk tells Rasheeda’s mom that he’s going to have a paternity test because he still doesn’t believe that Baby Karter is his son. Boy, bye.
When you were mesmerized at how white Scrappy’s teeth were, but then snapped back to reality when you realized he still had huge commitment issues. And when he goes on to say that he’s “really in a lot of care” with Bambi, even though she poured her heart out and told him that she loved him.
Source: Wifflegif
When Stevie and Joseline swapped cake with each other’s mouths at their birthday/wedding party thing. Gross.
When Joseline went straight boss and drove off in Stevie’s car at their wedding party because a) Mimi’s friends Ariane and Erica showed up (for whatever reason) b) she was mad that Mimi bought her and Stevie a wedding gift (again, for whatever reason) and c) Stevie went to a strip club. I guess?
When you watched the “This Season On…” clips at the end of the episode and hollered because you can’t wait to see every ratchet moment in every upcoming episode because you apparently have low standards and might secretly hate yourself. But you ain’t even mad, though.
Source: Wifflegif
“Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta” airs Mondays at 8 p.m. EST on VH1 … just in case you want to hate yourself, too … with another new episode premiering tomorrow (Wednesday) … so you can hate yourself a little earlier. You’re welcome.
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