NOTE: I have no idea what the statute of limitations are for TV spoilers. My estimate would be somewhere between 12 and 48 hours, but there seems to be people still getting hissy fits over “Breaking Bad” and “Lost” spoilers—hence, the weird non-spoiling title of this post.
Sunday night was the premiere episode of the final season of “True Blood.” I am both happy and sad that the series is finally seeking an end (happy because the show has run its bloody course and should bow out with dignity; sad because I won’t get to see anymore of Lafayette’s fabulousness on Sunday nights).
What I am not happy about, though, is how the writers are playing with every one of my emotions with that thing with Tara.
Screw spoilers: Tara Thornton is “dead.”
That’s right—“dead” in hypothetical quotes, because I believe Tara is still “alive.” (“Alive” is also hypothetical because Tara is a vampire and vamps are technically dead, but you get what I’m saying.)
I’m kind of sort of definitely stubborn. Once my mind is made up about something, there’s nothing anyone can say or do to change it. Case in point: I believe mermaids exist. In real life. I am basing my stance on nothing other than this, but there’s absolutely no way you can convince me that they are nothing more than mythical, aquatic creatures conjured by someone who probably had a fish fetish. So, okay.
Back to Tara.
Rutina Wesley, the badass actress who plays Tara, recently gave an interview “confirming” that Tara is indeed “dead.” That’s cute, Rutina. But I, as well as other True Blooders (is that what the show’s fans are called?), know that there’s no way Tara is “dead,” i.e., met her True Death. Here are three reasons why:
1. Tara’s death wasn’t televised. We didn’t actually see Tara die in Sunday’s episode, nor in the season finale last year. If we didn’t see it, it didn’t happen (kind of like with The Hangover III, amiright?). And it’s possible that Lettie Mae didn’t see Tara die, either. Tara could’ve glamored Lettie Mae to believe she was dead, therefore leaving Lettie holding and crying over another vamp’s bloody insides. Gross.
2. Pam didn’t sense Tara’s death. Pam is Tara’s maker. A maker is supposed to feel when his or her progeny meets the True Death. Pam felt nothing. She didn’t react. Yes, she might’ve been on a fierce mission to find Eric (whom I don’t believe is dead, either) and not pay attention to or give a shit about anything else, but she still would’ve felt Tara’s death.
3. Rutina is listed as a series regular for the rest of the season. So there’s that.
Tara might be “dead” in the all-vampires-are-technically-dead-you-dummy sense. But she didn’t die a True Death in Sunday’s episode. She’s still “alive,” and she’s going to come back in future episodes like a true boss.
She better, or else everything I just said is pointless.